So DT It Is Then

He may have won the Electoral College, but that doesn’t mean I have to refer to him by name. It’s not because I’m afraid to say it like Harry and the gang wouldn’t say “Voldemort”. It’s because using someone’s name is a matter of respect and if there’s anyone in the world I don’t respect, it’s him.

Of course, I’m not alone here. It’s one reason he has acquired so many nicknames, almost all of them disrespectful. They are legion. For instance:

Putin’s Puppet
Cheeto Jesus
Fuckface Von Clownstick
Toddler-in-Chief
Short-Fingered Vulgarian
Agent Orange
Man-Baby
Whore of Babble-on
Amgry Creamsicle
Hair Hitler
SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States)
Boy President
Orange Menace

If you want more, there are plenty out there.

Now, I’m partial to “Orange Menace” and may still use it occasionally, but for everyday use it would be better to have something shorter and closer to his real name. So far, I’ve either used or considered:

Donnie (he supposedly hates it)
Drumpf (his old family name)
Drump (easier to type and anatomically evocative)
Donald Drump (sounds like “Donald Duck”)
Don the Con (what should be stamped on his forehead)

45F (he’s the 45th President and was able to find a doctor who agreed to say he was unfit for military service or “4-F”)

and simply:

T_____

But I really want something else. Something that will make sense and also be disrespectful.

Of course, we have a tradition of referring to Presidents by their initials. There was FDR, JFK, LBJ. The person who should be President today was sometimes known as HRC. So in theory I could use DJT.

But DJT is too respectful. It even sounds a little friendly. So that’s out. 

But it’s very close. Instead of the full DJT, I think DT will work just fine. It’s short. It’s related to his real name. And it’s creepy. Why?

Consider that DDT (short for Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane) is a dangerous pesticide that’s been almost totally banned for years. The Bald Eagle, our symbolic national bird, is coming back because we stopped using the stuff. Also, DEET (diethyltoluamide) is a common insect repellent. It’s nasty stuff you don’t want to inhale or get in your eyes.

Furthermore, the DTs is the common expression for delirium tremens, a terrible state that sometimes results from alcohol withdrawal. Its symptoms include shaking, confusion, high blood pressure, fever and hallucinations. It can be fatal. Fortunately, it’s rare.

Unfortunately, DT isn’t rare at all. It seems like he’s everywhere, a noxious cloud that can’t be avoided. But now I’ve got a name for the problem: DT for general use and the DTs for what we’re going through as a nation. And maybe Deet will catch on and be good for conversation.

Now all we need is a nice name for the DT/Russia connection.